


A Lifestyle Breed

by dontbecooler, printician



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, M/M, Puppies, Texting, Ugh, this is just so happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 22:29:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4117108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontbecooler/pseuds/dontbecooler, https://archiveofourown.org/users/printician/pseuds/printician
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somehow Mycroft gets hold of the Queen's corgis, and leaves them for Greg to look after. But does he have ulterior motives?</p><p>Alternative Summary: CORGI PUPPS</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lifestyle Breed

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [A Lifestyle Breed (Russian Translation)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8519974) by [ThePeripheralLight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePeripheralLight/pseuds/ThePeripheralLight)



> This is literally the happiest and cutest thing I have ever written with someone and I just want to thank the gods and karma and printician for the amazing prompt like I am so happy
> 
> I was Mycroft, they were Greg. 
> 
> ENJOY XX

Mycroft, there are corgis in the living room. Why are there corgis in the living room? Please tell me they're not the Queen's. GL

**_Don't hurt them. MH_ **

**_They may be the Queen's. MH_ **

What do you mean they 'may be the Queen's'?! GL

Are they or aren't they? GL

**_They're mine... Temporarily. MH_ **

Mycroft. GL

**_Yes they're hers. I'm corgi-sitting. MH_ **

Jesus Christ. GL

How do you even get that job? Corgi-sitting for the bloody Queen? GL

**_I... may have volunteered. I love you Greg please take care of the corgis while I'm at work. MH_ **

Why did you bloody volunteer to ta [ _text unfinished_ ]

**_Greg? MH_ **

DEAR GOD HELP ME THEY'VE OVERTAKEN ME I CAN'T GET UP. GL

**_Oh Gregory. I thought something awful had happened. MH_ **

**_Just... Shoo them away. MH_ **

THEY CANNOT BE SHOOED. GL

**_Well you can't manhandle them. You'll be missed my love. MH_ **

[ _Delay_ ] I'm currently sitting on the kitchen counter covered in dog fur. GL

You're going to repay me for this. Big time. GL

**_You can get half of what we're being paid. MH_ **

I don't want money I need emotional compensation for what just happened to me. GL

**_Were they... Defiling you? MH_ **

Jesus Christ... no. GL

I was attacked and then stood on by the two of them. Literally, they stood on my chest and walked around on me. GL

**_Oh. That's amusing. MH_ **

**_Very much like Lizzy. MH_ **

[ _Delay_ ] Did... did you just call the Queen of England 'Lizzy'? GL

**_No? MH_ **

I cannot handle this. The Queen's corgis are in my living room and you just called her 'Lizzy'. GL

What even is my life anymore? GL

**_I may visit her on a weekly basis to talk about Clinton and Bruce. They are very charming animals, and you know... People get chatting over tea. MH_ **

**_I may have asked if I could have them in my home for a few days to see if they were the right breed for... Our lifestyle. MH_ **

[ _Delay_ ] You fucking borrowed the Queens corgis to see if you wanted one. GL

**_And to see if you'd like one too! MH_ **

**_That's why I left them for you to find. MH_ **

**_I was somewhat hoping you'd be excited. MH_ **

I'd be more excited if I weren't so bloody confused by this entire situation. GL

They are cute though, I'll give you that. GL

They have adorable stubby little legs. GL

**_It was supposed to be a surprise and cute or something. MH_ **

**_You did ask me to start being more romantic. MH_ **

**_Flowers seemed too generic. MH_ **

Just for the record, Myc, 'romantic' and 'borrowing the Queen's corgis to surprise me' are two different things. GL

But god dammit if I'm not going to go gently pet the shit out of those dogs. GL

**_I knew you'd like them. MH_ **

I thought you'd be more of a cat person, though. GL

And I'm not sure if we're allowed to have animals in our building. GL

**_You should see them as puppies. MH_ **

Oh god. Not sure I'd want to. I'd immediately have to adopt twelve. GL

[ _j.peg Attached_ ] **_No look though Greg.  MH_**

  **_  
_ **

**_I can always pull a few strings. MH_ **

**_I am... You know. Me. So... MH_ **

[ _Delay_ ] You are a bad, bad man. GL

I want at least two. GL

**_Two little girl dogs? Clinton has a tendency to pee on things, as do a lot of male dogs. MH_ **

**_We can get an orange one and a tricolored one. MH_ **

What?! GL

And he's loose in our flat?! GL

**_Might want to keep an eye on him. MH_ **

**_It's not that hard to clean up Gregory. MH_ **

If he pisses on anything you're bloody well cleaning it up. GL

But yes. That sounds lovely. GL

What are we going to name them? GL

**_You can choose one and I can choose the other. MH_ **

Or we could name them Sherlock and John. It'd be hilarious seeing your brother react to that one. GL

**_What about Sherly, for my one? MH_ **

Perfect. GL

**_And for yours? MH_ **

Am I the most boring person in the world if I say Bella? GL

**_Yes. But it's lovely. MH_ **

Scarlett. GL

**_Hmm? So not Bella. MH_ **

Nope. And it’ll be with two T's because we're posh and fancy. GL

**_So you'll name the orange one? MH_ **

Does that mean you want the tricoloured one? GL

**_Brown haired Sherlock, brown haired Sherly. MH_ **

I like it. Then yes, Scarlett will be the orange one. GL

**_Two S's. I love it. Are they behaving? MH_ **

One is asleep on my armchair and the other is on my lap kicking at my leg while I'm petting his belly. GL

**_That's adorable. MH_ **

**_Well make the most of it, someone is coming around to pick them up. MH_ **

What? No, why? GL

**_I may... Have told a little white lie. MH_ **

Oh god. What is it? GL

**_Li- Her Majesty believed that her boys would convince you in less than an hour to get our own. MH_ **

**_It worked. MH_ **

**_I owe the Queen fifty pounds. MH_ **

I hate you. GL

**_I have them in the back seat. MH_ **

 [ _Delay_ ] By 'them' do you mean Sherly and Scarlett? GL

**_Yes. I've had them since... I think you said something about… 'emotional compensation'. Her Majesty helped me pick them out. MH_ **

This is the most ridiculous situation I've ever been in. GL

**_But... You still want them right? MH_ **

Of course I still bloody want them. GL

Get those two in here so I can meet my daughters. GL

**_Have Clinton and Bruce gone? MH_ **

Yeah. Some bloke in a suit just came and picked them up about five minutes ago. I made him give me ID first. GL

**_Good. Her Majesty will be pleased you respected them. MH_ **

**_I've got all the things they need, too. MH_ **

I really did not want to end up dead because I let those dogs get kidnapped on my watch. GL

**_They're so little and squirmy. MH_ **

Good. I might have to take a bit of time off to train them and such. GL

Or perhaps we can just get Rodger Mugford. GL

**_Oh yes Rog. He's a very good man. MH_ **

Are you serious? You call him 'Rog'? GL

That's the most ridiculous nickname I've ever heard. GL

[ _A Few Seconds Later_ ]

Come home now, Mycroft. I want puppies. GL

**_I'm almost home. Prepare yourself. MH_ **

I am fully prepared. GL

**_Are you ready? MH_ **

I’m ready. GL

 

**Author's Note:**

> YOU CAN SEE MORE OF THE PUPPIES HERE >>> https://www.flickr.com/photos/evocateur/8526250954/in/photostream/ thats where the photos were found
> 
> ahhhhh pupppppies


End file.
